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Post  Post subject: No doggy land  |  Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:38 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:08 pm
Posts: 41
Location: The nanny state

This little corner of my "yard" is a fucking mess. Believe or not, there was a time when it was much worse. And there also was a time when it was actually nice and clean. But those were the pre-Dumbass Jones days, if you get my drift. This little area of paradise was a dream come true for drunkards that could just "let go" and do things that everybody's mother told them not to do. Breaking empty bottles was a delight, yes it was quite pleasurable. Add an enormous amount of empty beer cans, leftover food scraps, unused or broken musical equipment, road cones, desks, office racing chairs and yard waste, and you have what most civilized humans would consider a dump. But to top it all off, a PISS BUCKET! Fuck yea man.

The problem is, the dogs. Even though they loved digging for unkown treasures, it just couldnt be. So I spent two weeks cleaning that mess up. It was horrible to say the least. I got it back to a fairly livable area again, but it slowly transformed back into a shit pile. I bitched and bitched and held my ground for a long time, but I'm beginning to think I've lost the battle. So my main concern is to keep the dogs out of there.

Luke eats aluminum cans. I know because I've seen shreaded aluminum in his crap. He also eats glass. I've seen him chew up glass like he was eating an almond roca. I don't know whether he's dumb, or just trying to be stupid, but I need to keep him out of there. Not to mention the worst of his habits, drinking out of the PISS BUCKET! So enough is enough. Now there's a fence that so far he can't get through.

But now there's another problem. There's apparently a big rat living under the brush pile that is my next chore to get rid of. Luke, being a hound, can't stand the fact that he can't get at it, so he stands at the fence and barks his head off at 1:00 in the morning. By now all the neighbors have been woken up and I have to climb my dumb ass out of bed, get dressed and go get him back in the house. Ever heard a hound dog bark when he means business? I'd rather beat by China cymbal to death for an hour until I can't hear anything but a steady ringing in my ears.

Shit in a bowl bitch!

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